“Granola bars”

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

wholefoodsrattail7I really wish that I had more of a back story on how this Missed Connection turned out. Any hypotheses?


3 thoughts on ““Granola bars”

  1. Well, assuming that ‘rat tail’ equals (=) tragically hip in the tradition of the tegan and sara fashion mullet and does not equal (≠) stereotypical middle america red neck-dom, I assume it went something like this…

    [my eyes wander upward, towards the right, representing (=) ‘thought’]

    [cue the disorienting screen sequence to represent a scene that does not represent (≠) ‘reality’]

    A boy in skinny corduroy cut-offs, a striped tank top, chucks with no socks, and a cap that is too small for him but he made himself, sits in front of a macintosh routinely going through his bookmarked blogs. Part of this routine makes up the basis of his online queer-dentity as he logs in to dlist.com, leaves it up in a background tab in case his profile makes the front page so more people will add him, and skims the craigslist missed connection advertisements in the mean time. Hercules and the love affair plays in the background as he stumbles upon the post and his hand instinctively start to play with his rat tail. In the room behind him, an unpacked grocer’s bag still contains the dried figs, those organic things that look like sun chips, and now warm four-pack of seasonal dog fish head beer that he has yet to find the motivation or the need to find homes for in his efficiency-size bucktown studio. He glances at the date of the post to mentally confirm that it was indeed himself that has been miss connected and faintly remembers a loafer-wearing dilettante hipster looking constipated and anxious as he glanced over snack foods, pausing every once in awhile to eye-over mr. rat tail.

  2. Hmmm.. I buy it. Here’s how I’m guessing the story would pick up from there:

    After a few email exchanges consisting mostly of lyrics to Architecture in Helsinki b-sides and Jack Kerouac references, they met up at Intelligentsia, drank a pair of Moroccan mint teas and talked about post-modern irony and post-ironic modernity. And then they fucked, and Mr. Rat Tail gave a fake phone number to the Sr. Granola Bars. (RT topped twice, GB bottomed both times – they listened to Cut Copy the first time, Sigur Ros the second – more meaningful – time). They’ll run into each other at Berlin in two weeks, fuck again, and GB will be launched into a month-long Elliot Smith listening binge when RT doesn’t recall their previous encounter. “We’ve met before? Hmm… Well, we both go to Columbia so maybe I’ve seen you around ‘campus’?”

    And they lived meaningfully ever after.

  3. thank you so much for replying. I just was on their webstie, and i think ill go there for my first classic!. ther top price I think was about 20,000. Im only twelve and want my first car to be an antique im a gearhead and know years makes and models and stuff but in a few years i think ill got to route 66 and check them out thnx for the info!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s