This week has gotten off to a stressful start, getting back into the swing of things after the holiday break and taking care of hiring for my job at the LGBT Campus Center. I’m terrifyingly behind on research for a directed study and am taking care of all sorts of final details for December 7’s Drag Against AIDS show at Great Hall. It’s hectic, crazy and I’m increasingly unsure that I will be able to take care of everything that needs to be finished before my second-to-last undergraduate semester’s end — in two and a half weeks.
Off the heels of a 7:30 AM staff meeting, I took a gander at the news wire and found inspiration from an unexpected source.
Miss Puerto Rico insists outfit, makeup tainted
“Newly crowned Miss Puerto Rico Ingrid Marie Rivera insisted in an exclusive interview Wednesday that she wasn’t just imagining the redness, itching and swelling she says she experienced during last week’s pageant in San Juan.
‘When you got a will, there’s a way,’ Rivera said. ‘With God in my mind, I block myself from anything negative that could pass through my mind. Give me the will and give me the faith and I’ll go on with it.'”
This Drop Dead Gorgeous nightmare-come-true is a testament to a human spirit. The link above includes a video clip of Rivera’s eye-opening exclusive interview from the Today show, and I highly It’s about time that beauty contestants start standing up against this sort of inhumanity. I mean, no matter what I will go through in life, I will never know the agonizing pain of being crowned Miss Puerto Rico and earning a ticket to Donald Trump’s Miss World contest with fugly, itchy redness all over my body from an unidentified “Jello-ish” substance. I’ll never know what it feels like to have other beauty queens jealous of me to the point of sabotage. I don’t know who has experienced a hard-knockier life: Orphan Annie or Innie.
What lessons can we take from this heinous tragedy? Firstly, the time has finally come for us to recognize the need for some sort of benefit fund for other itchy beauty queens around the world. This is a growing problem, and it’s not going to get better on its own.
This also shows all of you doubters that the WAR ON TERROR is far from over. The enemy has realized what is nearest and dearest to our hearts, and this infiltration needs to be brought down. In addition to arming our nation’s beauty queens with ointments and topical treatments, I would suggest that we re-evaluate our country’s points of weaknesses. I want to see ground forces outside of Beyonce’s crib and paratroopers roaming the streets of West Hollywood with L.C… Who knows where the terrorists will draw the line.
God bless Amurrika.