It’s been a busy few months for this ghey, but sanity has finally returned and Reality TV Makes Me Cry is now coming to you live from a new location — Chicago. I may not have cable yet, nor is my Internet connection the most reliable, but I intend to update this blog as frequently as I am able to with remarks on the various crazinesses of our world.

Yahtzee, game on.

Ever read a news story while instantly visualizing the next three headlines on that topic in the coming weeks? This was precisely my experience with this announcement from Hallmark that they would begin selling cards appropriate for gay-marrieds becoming civilly unionized, or whatever they call it these days, just in time for Portellen’s joyous union. These new cards arrive on the heels of a series of “coming out” cards unveiled last year by the retailer.

Cue the protesters: A number of Hallmark stores in the state of Idaho have announced that they will not carry the new offerings. The esteemed American Family Association has also added Hallmark to their shit list by encouraging a protest, just as they had earlier this year with the homo-friendly, gay pride mongers McDonald’s. Their rationale?

“… promoting same-sex marriage for profit is not the very best for families or our nation. Hallmark is a private company obviously driven by greed,” reads the official AFA petition. “Let them know you do not appreciate Hallmark promoting a lifestyle which is illegal in 48 states.”

Ho hum. You would think that the right-wing conservatives would find it enough to simply not buy the ghey cards and let the Bush-endorsed capitalist marketplace work itself out by eliminating the unholy pieces of parchment stuffed in equally evil envelopes. This is almost as amusing as the post-9/11 Dixie Chicks protest.

Speaking of illegal lifestyles and weddings, check out this story about a Michigan couple that was recently straight-married and wound up being tasered and spending the night in separate prison cells. Is this proof that the homosexual agenda has finally gained steam? Or did a bunch of bitches just get schwasted? Judge for yourself.