Have friends getting gay-married anytime soon?

It’s been a busy few months for this ghey, but sanity has finally returned and Reality TV Makes Me Cry is now coming to you live from a new location — Chicago. I may not have cable yet, nor is my Internet connection the most reliable, but I intend to update this blog as frequently as I am able to with remarks on the various crazinesses of our world.

Yahtzee, game on.

Gay-friendly cards are now available from all Hallmark locations.
Hallmark goes gay with new cards.

Ever read a news story while instantly visualizing the next three headlines on that topic in the coming weeks? This was precisely my experience with this announcement from Hallmark that they would begin selling cards appropriate for gay-marrieds becoming civilly unionized, or whatever they call it these days, just in time for Portellen’s joyous union. These new cards arrive on the heels of a series of “coming out” cards unveiled last year by the retailer.

Cue the protesters: A number of Hallmark stores in the state of Idaho have announced that they will not carry the new offerings. The esteemed American Family Association has also added Hallmark to their shit list by encouraging a protest, just as they had earlier this year with the homo-friendly, gay pride mongers McDonald’s. Their rationale?

“… promoting same-sex marriage for profit is not the very best for families or our nation. Hallmark is a private company obviously driven by greed,” reads the official AFA petition. “Let them know you do not appreciate Hallmark promoting a lifestyle which is illegal in 48 states.”

Ho hum. You would think that the right-wing conservatives would find it enough to simply not buy the ghey cards and let the Bush-endorsed capitalist marketplace work itself out by eliminating the unholy pieces of parchment stuffed in equally evil envelopes. This is almost as amusing as the post-9/11 Dixie Chicks protest.

Anna Pastuszwska fall down, go boom, at her July 19 straight-wedding.
Anna Pastuszwska fall down, go boom, at her July 19 straight-wedding.

Speaking of illegal lifestyles and weddings, check out this story about a Michigan couple that was recently straight-married and wound up being tasered and spending the night in separate prison cells. Is this proof that the homosexual agenda has finally gained steam? Or did a bunch of bitches just get schwasted? Judge for yourself

Download: Dosh ‘I Think I’m Getting Married’

Download: Wolf Parade ‘Call It a Ritual’

Download: Telepathique ‘Love and Lust’

We cannot walk alone…

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day, honoring the birthday of one of the leading proponents of nonviolence and spokespeople of the civil rights movement. In addition to providing a day off from school, work, etc., the holiday gives us all an opportunity to look around us and ask whether the world we currently live in lives up to Dr. King’s dream of freedom, equality and justice.

Are we there yet? That depends who you ask. George W. Bush would probably say we’re doing pretty well, judging by a statement made earlier today. In Bush’s words, “by simply living a life of kindness and compassion, you can make America a better place and fulfil the dream of [King].”

But what about the nearly 36 million Americans living under the poverty line? Or the family and loved ones of the many transgender people murdered annually around the world because of their gender identity? Or the legions of gay, lesbian and other queer citizens who cannot legally get married, serve openly in the military or adopt children (in some states)? What would they say? Do the powers-that-be even care?

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Happy birthday, MLK.

Download: Patty Griffin ‘Up to the Mountain (MLK Song)’